"You see, life is like that. We change, that's all. You see, the guy I am now is not the guy I was then. If the guy I was then met the guy I am now he'd beat the shit out of me. Those are the facts."

-Steveo, SLC Punk!

For years, I have tried to really grasp what punk is. I was lost between the politics, the clothes, and the lifestyle…so lost that it's taken four years since the first time I heard the chords of "Blitzkrieg Bop" to finally figure it all out. So, to all of you who have asked me what punk is, here's your answer: Punk is simply the will to die a little faster.

First of all…to all my friends who will comment with, "yes, I'm glad you finally realized that", or, "tell me something I don't know": Fuck you. None of us knew. We came so close to getting it…we really did. When Eric died…that's when we almost learned…that's when there was a split in our little punk world. Some of us, myself included, woke up and knew things couldn't go on that way. Some of us feel deeper into destruction and chaos. I'm not condemning anyone…we all had to do what we had to do And that was the first time we learned the true nature of the world we so desperately lived for. Sure, we had always known about the deaths of the punks before us, but we always swore it wouldn't be us.

But that is the nature of punk, isn't it? Born to a generation discontent with pop and a cold war…punk was something new…the true voice of the adolescent rebellion. Anarchist philosophy in place of the governments we'd come to believe as war-hungry and oppressive. Plaid and boots in place of the mass produced GAP world that fed corrupt economies. Drugs and booze in our veins and blood on our fists from trying to feel alive…to know we were really alive as the rest of the world drowned in the mundane. How absurd does that all sound now? A whole society based on the idea of fighting all others? It's no wonder we're not poised to charge the world, much less live past the age of 27. It's no wonder that punk is dead…it strives to kill itself.

And where are the incarnations of punk now? Lost to history. It's a coffee table book that documents a violent time for the world. It's a movie that cycles from the birth of punk to the death of innocence, stressing that we'll all "sell-out" eventually. Punk has become a taboo fashion statement sold at Hot Topic and Wal*Mart. Joey Ramone must turn over in his grave when his music is sold at a Best Buy. Punk isn't punk anymore…even the music is gone. Self-acclaimed punk bands give us one quick burst of teenage rebellion before turning into whines about how life is too hard and that we should all give up on love. When life was too hard to punk…punk fought back even harder. None of this "screaming infidelities" shit.

So punk dies out. But I don't see how it can when a whole generation is crying out for change and rebellion…but then again…most that cry out can't stomach the idea of fighting in a pit. None have the fists to deal with the consequences. Fear, it seems, has conquered the once fearless. Those once ready to get a bloody nose now spend hours caking on make-up and the perfect scene outfit. Punk is no longer a life…it is an event to look your best at…a popularity contest based on who you know in the band (10 points for a drummer…30 for a vocalist). Grow your balls back, kids. It doesn't have to be this way. Who needs to live to be 86? Let's get dying.

Charlie's Back

Peace, Love, Unity…
-Sloth Mcgee